


I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas

by kueble



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:21:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27860701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kueble/pseuds/kueble
Summary: In which Aiden sings horrible Christmas songs and Lambert loves him anyway.
Relationships: Aiden/Lambert (The Witcher)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 34





	I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> For the tumblr prompt: Heya! Can I have "I want a hippopotamus for Christmas" with Lambden please if you're feeling up to it? Thank you :D

“I want a hippopotamus for Christmas. Only a hippopotamus will do,” Aiden sings loudly as he bounces around their kitchen. He’s got his sleeves rolled up, forearms exposed in a way that makes Lambert was to interrupt his cooking for something a little more spicy. But his stomach growls, reminding him how pampered he’s gotten since he moved in with his boyfriend.

“You have horrible taste in Christmas music,” Lambert announces as he walks into the room. Aiden just waves a large knife at him and smirks.

“Also in boyfriends,” he says with a wink. He goes back to chopping mushrooms and Lambert sidles up behind him, wrapping his arms around Aiden’s trim waist. He hooks his chin over his shoulder and presses a quick kiss to his jawline.

“I’d argue, but it’s true. What’s for dinner?”

“Spaghetti parm with mushrooms like you like it,” Aiden tells him. He nudges Lambert backwards and goes about throwing the mushrooms into a pan on the stove. “Since I’m spoiling you tonight, I have a few demands of my own.”

“Yeah? I can probably take care of those,” Lambert leers at him.

“I need a hippopotamus,” Aiden deadpans.

“Pretty sure that’s against our lease,” Lambert tells him, snorting before pulling him into a tight hug.

“Get off me, you beast,” Aiden mumbles, putting up a weak fight as Lambert kisses him gently.

“Not what you said last night,” Lambert chuckles softly. “Now be a good dear and feed me.”

“Get the fuck out of my kitchen, you meanace,” Aiden snorts, slapping him on the ass as he chases him out of the room.

\--- 

“Oh Santa he’s a big fat fuck. Went down the chimney got his fat ass stuck,” Aiden sings, stretching on his tip-toes so he can put the star on top of their tree. He’s wearing some god-awful sweater. It’s not one of those mass-produced once with glitter and sequins, but it’s a red and green striped disaster with lumpy looking snowmen embroidered all over it. Clearly some middle-aged women in the nineties rocked the fuck out of this thing. Lambert is way too in love with him, because he can’t help thinking he looks sexy, even like this. 

The music is something he could do without, though.

“Do you have any _normal_ Christmas music?” he asks, pulling a face at him. Aiden just scoffs and waives his hand before grabbing another ornament out of the box of decorations.

“You know I never vibe with normal,” Aiden quips back. He purses his lips and stands back to look at the tree, studying it before reaching out to adjust the placement of a giant snowflake.

“So hippopotamus is out. What about a dog?” Lambert asks from his seat on the couch. He’d been banished to supervising after dropping and shattering a large glass ball. Suits him just fine, since he gets to watch his pretty boyfriend without having to actually contribute to the work.

“Pretty sure we’re not allowed that either,” Aiden grumbles. Lambert just scowls and makes a vow to check their lease later, once he’s done ogling his boyfriend.

\---

“And I’ll never talk to you again, unless your dad’ll suck me off. And I’ll never talk to you again, unless your mom will touch my cock,” Aiden sings, winking across the counter at Lambert. Blink-182 sure put an interesting spin on the whole Christmas thing.

“One, you get to tell Vesemir you’re hot for his old man mouth. Two, pass me the pink frosting. Three, where the fuck do you get these songs? Seriously? This is the worst Christmas music I’ve ever heard,” Lambert tells him, holding up fingers as he counts. Aiden shrugs and hands him the tube of pink frosting.

“I have a gift,” Aiden smirks before shoving the cookie he just frosted into his mouth.

“You’re lucky your ass is a gift,” Lambert says. He looks down at the gingerbread woman he just drew tits on and wonders who ever let them date. It’s way too much chaos for one relationship.

“The gift that keeps on giving,” Aiden winks saucily. “Seaking of gifts, did you look at the lease yet? Am I getting my hippo? I’d settle for a fish...maybe. I think you can buy tiny sharks. That might be fun.”

“Still looking into it,” Lambert lies.

“We should just buy a house,” Aiden suggests, before grabbing another cookie to decorate as if he didn’t just propose taking their relationship to the next level. Houses were big and _permanent_.

“Real estate is a big commitment,” Lambert says slowly, offering him a way out.

“So they are,” Aiden agrees with a smile that makes Lambert’s chest feel too warm all of a sudden.

\---

“I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes. Christmas is all around me, and so the feeling grows,” Aiden croons, swaying his hips side to side. He trails off in a giggle, letting Bill Nighy take over, and pulls Lambert in for a kiss. “Merry Christmas, babe.”

“Merry Christmas,” Lambert sighs into the kiss. He grabs Aiden by the collar of his stupid green robe and deepens the kiss. They shuffle backwards, his knees bumping the couch before he drops down onto it and pulls Aiden on top of him. Aiden nips at his bottom lip and rocks his hips, making Lambert whimper into his sweet mouth.

The the fucking doorbell rings, and Lambert would be pissed, but it’s his own damn fault.

“Who the fuck is that?” Aiden asks, sitting up quickly.

“Eskel, and I owe him a huge favor for this, so let me get the door,” Lambert grunts out as he shoves Aiden off his lap and races to the door. 

Eskel is as quiet as ever, just handing over the package and mumbling out a quick “Merry Christmas” before hurrying off. Lambert holds the box close to his chest and hopes he’s not going to make a mess of this. He nods to himself and walks back into the living room. He practically shoves the box at Aiden and then just stands there waiting for his reaction.

“What’s this then?” Aiden asks looking down at the unwrapped cardboard box in his hands. Something inside the box thuds, and he looks up at Lambert with an expression of pure glee across his features. “Did you?”

“I may have,” Lambert says, grinning back at him. He nervously watches Aiden open the box and pick up the tiny kitten. She lets out a soft meow and immediately races up Aiden’s arm to sit on his shoulder.

“I’m so in love,” Aiden whispers, his eyes comically wide. The kitten purrs and swipes at Aiden’s loose curls.

“With the cat or me?”

“Both. Definitely both,” Aiden confirms before reaching up and gently moving the kitten to his lap. She’s mostly gray with a white belly and white front paws. She flips onto her back and bats at Aiden’s fingers as he plays with her. “Does she have a name?”

“Only an asshole would name someone else’s cat,” Lambert tells him. Aiden raises an eyebrow pointedly and Lambert just laughs at him. “Point taken. But I didn’t name her.”

“How’s my little Hippo?” Aiden coos down at the tiny ball of fluff.

“Absolutely not.”

“Too late. Already done. Now get over here so we can take our first family selfie,” Aiden grins at him and pats the couch. Hippo thinks it’s another game and just chases his hand. Aiden giggles, his whole face lighting up, and Lambert falls in love all over again.

**Author's Note:**

> Come play with me on [Tumblr.](https://kueble.tumblr.com/)


End file.
